A Can Of Worms

This is something that's been in the back of my mind for a while now but I've so far resisted posting it because I don't want to mix up any bad blood. Increasingly these days though I find myself feeling less like Nice Fury and more like Say What I Feel Fury.

So here goes...







To the Mares, regarding this Jess business.


We have a good standing me and thee- I've been a supporter of yours for a very long time. Even before you knew who I was I had a sense that we'd get along just from the style of your posts, and I'm glad I was right. For the longest time I read your blog and found myself pleased to discover that we agreed on so many things, but then something changed.

Way back when in the month of May I exercised a little pest control on my blog. The resultant fallout happened, and you seemed supportive, so it was a little bit strange for me to later see you come up on Jessamine's side of so many arguments all too often. I watched from the sidelines as the girl irritated and infuriated her way across the Sims world with little regard for anyone else's feelings, and always there was you. When it all kicked off for the final time a month or so ago and she 'left' you were notably quiet, and I assumed this was because you too had finally had enough of her. And then there was this.


This is where I lose my patience.


Jessamine Diane left the Sims community because 'she feared things flaring up all over again at Pink Plumbobs'- that's what you said right? Well, what you forgot to mention was that she left due to her own ridiculous actions and her inability to go more than a few days without offending someone:





This is what caused the final fallout- just another example of Jess royally putting her foot in it and then trying to pass it off as a misunderstanding rather than apologising.
Someone sent these screenshots to me. Why? I don't know- maybe after witnessing her behaviour towards me they anticipated that I'd sympathise with what was about to come. Maybe it was their way of saying 'hey- I get it now, do your I Told You So dance'.

But not you Mares, not you. I waited, and still the whoops, we we wrong about Jessamine post didn't come. Eventually I just thought 'fuck it, they don't owe anyone an apology so it doesn't matter', but then came this:



This explanation for why you never reprimanded Jessamine's behaviour, even though you 'wanted to strangle her' at times- I don't buy it and I don't like it. The fact that she's homeschooled does not change anything. I'm pretty sure there's a lot of Simmers out there who could tell you a tale or two- reiterate a sob story about the issues they have, but does that mean you'd change the way you treat them? If it came out that Jarsie or WindsorErick were homeschooled would you treat them differently?

Now I realise it's not actually as simple as that- the point isn't that she's homeschooled, it's that one of your team is identifying with this label- referencing it to someone they've known in their life who's acted in a similar way and therefore wanting to make exceptions based on that identification. Do you really think that's wise? I'm not denying that the girl has issues, but why should that make any difference? Are you saying we should excuse her despicable behaviour? I guess you are.

Here's my problem though: I think, I think that by supporting Jess throughout her various tantrums you only served to prolong them. Indeed, at every hissy she threw I witnessed you or someone else coming to her aide, thus reinforcing to her the idea that she was acting in a manner that was appropriate. This is all reinforcement you know- I don't care how sheltered and vulnerable you think someone is, if they do something bad and you don't scold them, you are only serving to condition their behaviour. I'm guessing from your omission that you sometimes wanted to strangle her you can't have fully supported everything she did, so why the hell didn't you say so?

If anyone in the Sims community acts foolish or nastily, you're the first ones to put them in their place, so why make exceptions for her? It all smacks of ridiculous double standards to me- something which I know you've suffered from yourself, so why do it?

When that Editorithingy post came out I was rather hopping mad, but I had to go to work that day and by the time I got home I'd calmed down and didn't feel like stirring it up by posting about it. But then yesterday brought this.

Shame on Amiee? I don't think so.

I watched for months as Jess slowly but surely destroyed everything around her. Every week brought a new confrontation, every week brought another 'friend' that Jessamine had alienated herself from. First it was me and Bitten, with AE learning not to associate with her also, then came a dispute with Vidkid, then it was her 'best friend' Blazaxx, then Kelle, then Randomspirit and Cele and RD, then finally FINALLY Amiee had enough of Jess's spiteful and poisonous actions and decided to give her what for, and you think she should be ashamed of this?

I watched, pulling my hair out, as Jess pissed off more and more people each day, and could only wonder why the fuck people kept going back. Maybe people are just nicer than I am, maybe they're more willing to let it be, but just how many times do you need to be banned by a supposed friend before you say 'enough's enough'? So yes, when everyone washed their hands of the witch, at last, I felt vindicated. I don't know, maybe Amiee shouldn't have confronted Jess on her chatbox, but why the fuck not? If you'd spent months chatting with someone online and you considered them a friend, wouldn't you be demanding an explanation if they one day decided to rip that friendship out from under you?

You praise me, AE, Vidkid and others for standing up for ourselves when we feel wronged, so how are Amiee's words any different? I guess it's because you think allowances should be made for Jess on account of her schooling? Can you just read that back to yourself for a minute and think about it, please...

In a way I almost admire you for wanting to abide by Jess based on some sort of problem you think she has, but when it means supporting the type of spiteful, argumentative, and rude behaviour she's exhibited in the past then I really have to draw the line.


Now, all of this said, I really don't want this to turn into some sort of blog slanging-match. I don't want to be dead to you Mares- I respect you and am thankful for every kindness you've shown me, I just think in this instance we have a difference of opinion and I wanted to make my feelings known. I hope you can respect that, and if you have anything further to say on the matter feel free to leave a comment or email me.

Seriously, this is not war- it's just how I feel.


Onto other matters of business.


Whilst I'm busy expressing myself over these matters, I figure I might as well get something else done too.

In July there was a whole big kerfuffle over someone trolling Jess's blog. When it happened Jess immediately posted up the IP address of someone who had been leaving rude comments on her chatbox, and immediately I had to smile to myself because I knew exactly who it was. However, not wanting to stick my face in I decided to keep schtum. But after the Mares had made that post there was a lot of nudge nudge wink winking as people were pretty sure they knew who was behind it, as well as a whole lot of hoo-hah regarding the whole should you post a person's IP address debate. At this point I commented on Kelle's blog saying that I knew who's IP it was, and that it wasn't WindsorErick's as everyone thought, and a funny thing happened... no one believed me.

Now it wasn't like an out-and-out omission, but comments from then on seemed to be prefixed with an 'if Fury's telling the truth' edge. I must admit I found this very strange. In real life if I tell a person something they believe me straight-off, because why wouldn't they? However, as time went on I began to realise I didn't have that luxury here. With so many people on the internet turning out to be something other than what they claim, no one wants to go all-out on faith and be made to feel foolish if it all falls down. Still, I found it a little bizarre that the Mares were so happy to pat themselves on the back for a job well done- apparently ignoring my protests that the IP address belonged to a young girl. Hey, if you really do take age into consideration as you say they maybe you should have listened.

It became pretty clear that WindsorErick was behind the anonymous post comments, especially after he confessed as much, but that didn't mean it was really his IP. Indeed, if someone thought they had you cornered, why wouldn't you just let them believe it? I guess what happened was that people wanted the matter closed, and with him confessing it was done, and no one wanted to consider that it might have been more than one person posting rude comments on Jess's blog. But the sad fact is, by this point there were more than a few people with a reason to dislike Jess.

After holding onto my 'evidence', at first because I didn't want to get involved, and thereafter because I... lost the screenshots, the other day I realised something. Who was I trying to protect? It's times like this when you just have to say- fuck it.

You know the funny thing about all this though? If Jessamine hadn't had one too many tantrums and deleted her old blog, she would have known exactly who the IP address belonged to straight away.

From the Mares:



And from my treasure trove:

 

Is it time for my I Told You So Dance again?

Way back when in April when my blog was just a bebbe, I had trouble with my very first cbox pain-in-the-arse. Someone was pretending to be me and other people, but after a quick bit of investigation I figured out who it was- a girl called Katie who used to visit my legacy blog. No trolling mastermind, no WindsorErick- Katie.

Now I haven't seen Katie for a long time, and I can only assume that's because seeing her location splashed all over The Mares Nest upset her somewhat. I told you all it wasn't WindsorErick's IP, but you didn't believe me, and I'm not about to blame you for that- you were just being cautious I know.

But there you have it- I can assure you I'm nothing but honest.

And to WindsorErick- I know you PM'd me to ask me not to, well, do what I've just done. I know I said I wouldn't, but I should have mentioned then that I reserve the right to do whatever the fuck I want at a moments notice. I will not, however, be posting up your actual IP address- so you don't have to worry about that. Just a little bit of advice though- if you are, as you said, scared of the Mares getting your real IP address, then maybe you should stop doing things to provoke people. I know you have a history with them but perhaps, through impeccable behaviour in the future, you can turn it around.


A final word.


If you've read all this and you're now planning to leave me a comment, I have some considerations for you. This is not a Mare-burning. I'm not renouncing their name or anything like that, so if you've had a long-standing hatred of them and you want to bond with me now because you believe we have a shared interest, don't bother.

I still enjoy and admire The Mares Nest, and I hope that doesn't change. So if you have a problem with them it's exactly that- your problem- I only wanted to make my feelings clear on this matter.



Adieu.