The Moral of the Metal

Now Fury, I know you were enjoying Hawaii but we had to come home some time.

But whhyyy? It was so pretty there, and now I have to come back here, sit on my solid-gold toilet whilst I write legacies, and spend all my money on hair dye.

Wait, that's not your real hair colour?

Ermmm...

Look, don't worry- I've got you a little something to cheer you up...

You're not going to dress up for me again are you?

No no, it's something even better.

OHMYGAWD IT'S JUST WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED!!!

Bleep bleep, hello, I'm Servo3000- pleased to make your acquaintance. I'm fully programmed to serve your every need, bleep bleep.

Wows, he's so awesome-o! I think I'm going to name him Jimminy Billy-Bob...

Fury, that's cruel.

Oh, and you have such a normal name 'The Doctor'?

I see your point...

Thank you so much Doctor he's perfect, and now we have him as a slave we'll have even more time to just be all cool and junk.
I loves you.

Bleep bleep, what. is. love?

Wow, he can even make me a JD&Coke. This is just the best gift ever- much better than last year when you bought me a depressed Cyberman.

Jimminy Billy-Bob you're the greatest! I can't imagine ever getting sick of you...

The Next Day

What the hell is wrong with you?! Why did you wake me up, it's not even midday yet! I've only had ten hours sleep you moron! Get out of my bedroom, stupid metal dick!

Bleep bleep, yes ma'am.

And don't call me ma'am!

What the hell are you doing with that?! I told you I have a phobia of wooden spoons and you bring that carved demon into my house? Get it out of here, and while you're at it get me some fish and chips- I don't want to eat this shit you've prepared. And be sure to count out an even amount of chips!

Bleep bleep, yes Mistress Fury...

Bleep bleep, just one step forward and it'll all be over, bleep bleep. Just one more step...

Remember kids- a servo is for life, not just for Christmas. Get yours here today and treat it with the love and respect it deserves.

Please don't repeat our mistakes.