Friday, 24 September 2010

Barnacle Bizzle, Fo Shizzle

 Hello all, and welcome to Captain FuryRed's tour of Barnacle Bay. 


Don't worry dear, I'm sure you'll be able to stop the pirates from plundering your booty...

So with exploration in mind there was only one thing to do- get kitted out in a pimpin' sports car and cruise the island in style ;)

First up was a trip down to the water's edge for a spot of fishing.

Ahh, pretty scenery. I'm glad I have a nice island world at last, although I'm hoping for a proper beach style one at some point. Do you remember Belladonna Cove from Sims 2 Apartment Life? I miss that. I'm really itching for the Late Night world to be both urban and coastal.

A few minutes into Captain Fury's exploration and we found the waterfall, and a slight problem...

Now admittedly I haven't actually scoped out the waterfall in Sunset Valley that much, so I don't know if this is normal. Y'see, here was me thinking that waterfalls were caused by, I don't know, a fucking big river or summat going over a sheer drop? This one appears from nowhere, as if by magic :O

It probably wouldn't seem so weird if the waterfall were at the edge of the map, but right above it is this nice little picnic area- with a good bit of ground between the water shown here and the start of the waterfall. Strange...


Ah, but Captain Fury can't go getting too excited, after all- there's no schwimmen in the sea in Sims yet (or ever- I really don't think they'll ever make it possible tbh).

So, instead of frolicking in the waves, Captain Fury's agenda for the day mainly consisted of standing around looking at rusted pieces of olde sea crap.

But at least there's a bar on the beach. Time for a JD and Pepsi, as always ;D


With some alcohol on offer it didn't take long for the first residents of Barnacle Bay to appear.
Initial verdict: creepish.

0_0 Verrrrrry creepish.

Things looked up a little later when this guy came along, but then I suddenly remembered that, A- we don't want jailbait, and 2- we're not on Barnacle Bay to hook up with some rusty seadog! This is about exploration goddammit.

Although... after checking out the residents of the Bay, I had to wonder just how they're going to survive. I mean, with Sims this ugly, how will they ever procreate?
I'm thinking copious cases of rum will help...

Now now Captain Fury, there's no need to be mean.

Christ though, what the fuck? This man is TERRIFYING. His wrinkles seem painted on and he looks like he's been battered about the face with a salty sea lion a bunch of times... 

Eventually I managed to pull the Captain away and sent her over to the main beach. 

I must say I was a little disappointed with this one- it's basically a massive beach yeah, but it just has these two lots plonked on it in the middle and it looks kind of... shoved together? I dunno, a few trees somewhere other than the community lots would have been nice... maybe a sandcastle... some nudists...


For a minute there I though the creepy sea man from the first beach had followed us over, but no- it's worse. He has a twin O_O

Sooooooooooooo the beach, as you would expect, has some nice chillaxy areas.

After a quick nap it was time to head to the nearby diner for lunch. 

See what I mean about the beach? Massive empty space between the lots- it looks a bit desolate to me.

I must say though, I do like the Hogan's Deep Sea Diner. It is just a rabbit hole, which has people rather bummed, but I think it's cute ^_^

I particularly like the detail of the pirate ship. Look at the little Christmas lights! Awww.

Following a hearty lunch of... I dunno, cockles and muscles I imagine (eesh) Captain Fury decided to pay a visit to some of the residents of Barnacle Bay- and one house in particular.

Ringing any bells yet? Back in Sims 2 there were two sisters who lived in... I dunno, one of the neighbourhoods. Dina and Nina Caliente were like the Yo Ho Hoes of Sims 2, and to be honest when I found out through my story progression mod that they were living in Barnacle Bay I expected a little bit more...

You call yourself a hot hobag? You're a disgrace to trash Dina.
Really there was only one thing for it. If EA weren't going to bother to do it right- if they weren't going to give me the whorish sisters I had dreamed of- then I would have to take matters into my own hands.

It's makeover time :)

Much better.

Unfortunately though there's only so much I can do. I was leaning towards the plastic surgery route, cause these girls are facially challenged in a bad way and in need of my help, but if I started that then they'd just end up looking completely different.

Besides, I think I like it better this way- they look kind of deranged, slutty, and sad all at the same time... Dina's impression of a porn star is quite becoming.

As the night was drawing in by that point, Captain Fury decided to bed down with the Caliente sisters for the evening.

But the hookers were not pleased...

 In the end, poor Captain Fury was thrown out into the cold cold night :(

With not much to do til daytime, I decided to go with the ominous feel and sent Captain Fury to check out one of the graveyards.

There's actually two graveyards in Barnacle Bay y'see, and this one is the more eerie one, which I likes.

Down from the graveyard a bit is like a community lot, but there's fack all there... or so I thought...
Can you see it?

Secret stairs of doom, DUN DUN DUR.

Possibly my favourite picture ever :P
After venturing down the stairs, Captain Fury found herself in a bit of a maze really. There was just a bunch of corridors with small torches and urns on the floor, and it was very cool. Seriously, I wasn't expecting a little underground adventure, so I was strangely thrilled :D

After meandering around a bit we came to the end of the long winding corridor, and discovered a room with a bed. At this point I knew what this was all about... it's a secret lair where the pirates have their booty calls! Hur hur :P

In the adjacent room there was a treasure chest, and this was the point where I naively thought there might be something exciting inside of it- like treasure.

I was wrong.

*shakes head* Come on Captain FuryRed- you're not really living up to your fearsome swashbuckling reputation here.

After fannying about in the secret basement for a bit, the brave Captain Fury ventured out as the moon was slowly slipping away.

And sunrise was spent on, yet another, beach.

For the rest of the day, Captain FuryRed took it easy and checked out some of the community lots.

There's like a fricking million parks and shiz in Barnacle Bay... I may knock a bunch of them through and build some snazzy beach houses XD

Barnacle Bay makes me realise just how much we need Late Night. I need bars man! And clubs. All there is in Barnacle Bay is park after park after park. It's like a suburban nightmare.

See- without a dancefloor and a bartender and a stripper pole it just looks empty.

Ooh, one thing I do really like about the Bay though is these nifty benches. Aren't they awesome?

And of course there's this lovely statue of a man and a woman in a boat, brandishing a knife and smuggling a loaf of bread...

Heyyyy, just when I thought I was going to lose hope- there actually are real pirates lurking about. Ahoy matey!

And so my little tour of Barnacle Bay draws to a close. It's a pretty island- charming in its own way, really not worth the Simpoints if you ask me... Of course, this is only my first outing- I'll have to fully explore the place to get a proper feel of it methinks.

Ahh, sunset.

Now get out of here, ye scurvy dogs!


  1. Ooooohh... Baranacle Bay looks cool... Despite all the parks and fuglies, yanno. :P

    And by the way, when I searched, "the sims 3 house of night" on Bing, I got this picture.

    It's yours! *gasp*

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  3. yeah, it's far from off the hizzle.
    for shizzle? for rizzle!
    this is the show we call Fury Fizzle!

  4. I think that loaf of bread is a baby. I saw a face.

    Playermade tombs, I find, are much more convuluted and challenging.

    I catch fire every time.

  5. @ Westie: I thought the same thing. I think it's a baby, it's too bendy to be a loaf of bread. XD

    *holds baby in front of Fury's face*

    "Rye or pumpernickel?"

  6. ^ Lolwhut? It logged me into my YouToob account.


  7. Oh I haven't tested it out yet. But that was such a fun tour. I love that bench, and yay for new tombs to explore and I actually really like the pirate ladies clothes *Gasp*

  8. I agree with Westie and Cabbage; definitely a baby lol! Either that or a strangely shaped loaf of bread...O_O EA eats babies! It all makes so much sense now...

    Love your Caliente sisters makeover. They look MUCH better and more like they're supposed to look!

  9. Barnacle Bay looks pretty cool. I'd get it (if only to snigger at the glitchy waterfall and creepy simmies) only I don't have anough simpoints and I'm not allowed to buy any :'(
    But yeah, loved your tour! :D

  10. I know it's a baby >_< I just liked my interpretation better is all- you don't know what those pirates will do for a nice ciabatta ;)

  11. I have stuck the fireman's pole in the Red Rendezvous for a story that requires a wee bit of the pole dancing. It works fine...

  12. Yay! Thanks for doing a tour, I've been waiting around for someone too! It looks cool, but I still haven't decide whether I wanna spend the money to buy it.

  13. Aw...I remember the Calientes being prettier in Sims 2. Why do they always have to make their default sims look so weird for Sims 3? :(

    And I thought the loaf of bread was a baby! xD

  14. could you put your version of the caliente sisters on the exchange please!!!

  15. It looks cooler than i first thought :) but i still wouldnt pay for it XD

  16. iz sad..... theres no new chp.( of the heart family legacy) and its been weeks!!!! iz so bored!!!!!

  17. Don't eat the bread! It's secretly a baby. Maybe they are illegal immigrants smuggling a baby across the borders.

  18. Is your swimwear hair from peggyzone?

  19. Is Barnacle Bay really worth the simpoints? I don't really want ot waste any on something bad, ya knos.

  20. Idk if anybody else pointed it out, but BV permitted you to go a few feet into the ocean.